How empowering are your patterns?
Your patterns are powerful. They permeate every aspect of your life. For better or worse, your consistent patterns of thought, feeling and behavior accumulate and become your results.
Success and failure leave clues about your patterns. If you’ve ever found yourself with your head in your hands asking “how did I get here…again?” That’s a pattern. If you’ve ever knowingly repeated steps in a process to get to your goal, that is also a pattern.
Your patterns determine
- how you feel on a daily basis
- how you respond to stressful situations
- how you interact with people
- how you show up in business
- the outcome of your relationships
- the level of energy you have for projects, activities and people
On the path of personal growth, becoming aware of your patterns is an important part of conscious living. When you bring your patterns into the light for examination, more powerful choices can be made.
It’s important to know that patterns do what patterns do. They repeat. Your patterns are repeating whether you are conscious of them, or not. The most reliable tool to detect your patterns is to pay attention to how you feel.
Common Destructive Patterns
- desire for instant gratification
- wilful ignorance, stick your head in the sand
- control
- fight or flight reactions
- procrastination
- chaos, or “too busy-itis”
- (believe it or not) fear of success
Desirable Patterns
- being able to respond vs throwing a reacting
- actions aligned with your values and goals
- consistent self care
- following through on promises to yourself and others
- steady, focused action
- having established and well enforced boundaries
- mindful connection to your inner voice, or intuition
The benefit of being aware of your patterns is clear when it comes to destructive patterns and their results. Shifting destructive patterns shifts destructive results. Exploring positive patterns is a much lighter and equally beneficial pursuit. Once a positive pattern is made conscious, it can be replicated for sustainable, predictable results.
5 Steps to Shift or Replicate a Pattern in Your Life
Many people respond to a negative pattern by trying to control everything and everyone to avoid a similar outcome in the future. If you try to anticipate all the angles and outcomes, it’s an exhausting and futile pursuit. Instead of control, you can have a significant influence by following these steps:
Step One: Become Aware of the Pattern
At the risk of becoming redundant, you’ve got to get to know your patterns. Patterns leave clues and they are found in your results and your feelings.
Step Two: Recognize Your Pattern is Operating in Multiple Environments
Be on the lookout for patterns that occur across the different environments in your life. A great example is the instant gratification pattern. Scan your business, your relationships, your self care, your finances. Patterns have a way of replicating themselves; especially when they remain outside of your awareness.
Step Three: Go Inside Your Self
Become aware of what is or isn’t fulfilling for you. Become aware of what is or isn’t working for you, regardless of what anyone else might think or try to impose on you. Your feelings are your detection tool. Your intuition is your radar. It can takes a lot of work to become clear on what your feelings and intuition are trying to tell you. That’s why the next step is paramount…
Step Four: Have an Ally You Can Trust
Your ally shows up for you every single time because they are on your team. Unlike most people, your ally is not attached to whether you agree or disagree with their insights. When you call upon your ally, they do not put their needs or distractions first. They are present. They listen. They watch for your patterns and help you become aware of them.
True allies are not be easy to find. There is no such thing as an automatic ally, regardless of the nature of your relationship. An ally earns the right to hear your vulnerable stuff by showing up for you consistently over time. Allies come in many forms: friends, therapists, coaches, and if you’re fortunate, family members and life partners. Cultivate yourself a network of allies, and make sure you know how to show up as an ally, too.
Step Five: Shift or Replicate the Pattern
Isn’t it liberating to know that you can consciously shift a pattern that isn’t working and bringing you fulfillment? Isn’t it exciting to know that you can replicate an empowering pattern, and you can do it across your personal environments? Easy, peasy….right?
Well, not exactly. This is where you have to back up your “abera cadabera” with the no less magical consistency, discipline and time. And this is where the wheels fall off most peoples’ wagons. But you’re not most people if you’re still reading. Shifting and leveraging patterns is some of the most rewarding inner work you will ever do. Your results don’t lie. You are either running your patterns, or they are running you. If you desire change or growth, the only way out is in.
