There’s only so much time in your day, week, month, year, or let’s face it – your life – and everything you commit to doing, whether for yourself or someone else, takes up some of that most precious resource.
How do you decide the right thing for you to do?
This is what I used to do: if I felt bad saying no, I would say yes. In other words, I used guilt as my compass.
You can guess what that led to – overwhelm, frustration, and eventually resentment.
There is another way. You can give an “enlightened no”.
You don’t have to be in a permanent state of enlightenment to give an enlightened no. Because the key is to an enlightened no is alignment.
When you are clear about why your priorities are what they are, and where your time needs to be, saying no is a gift to both you and the person who receives it. Even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.
Towards the end of last year, I was approached by someone I respect with an opportunity get involved with organizing a series of events in Toronto. At first glance, I was excited. It was a platform for inspiration and meeting new people. The purpose of the event was in alignment with my values. But for some reason, my heart wasn’t all in.
Fortunately, I had spent a considerable amount of time laying the foundation for the upcoming couple of years in my business. You might remember reading about it when I released the Free Your Inner Guru Guidebook. I had put myself through my own coaching process and documented it along the way.
I took a step back, and recalled that I had recently read about the “enlightened no” in The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.
So I gave it a try and it went something like this:
“I love what you are doing with your events, and I am honoured that you would consider bringing me in to your passion project. I will support you every way I can. However, at this time, it does not fit with my plans for the upcoming year when my focus will be on growing my podcast and putting on live leadership workshops.”
Then I referred her to someone I thought it might work for. And it did.
Win. Win. Win.
It still felt a little icky while giving the “No”, but it took about a heartbeat before it felt great.
The key was the insight I had from the time I had invested clarifying my vision. I knew what to align with when I made the decision.
Good bye, guilt. Hello, clarity.
Clarity + Alignment = Impact
And it all begins with you.
Do you have the clarity it takes to give an enlightened no?
If this seems like something you would like to delve into, in a room full of like-minded entrepreneurs, you may be interested in an upcoming Free Your Inner Guru™ Leadership Workshop.
If you would like to see me put on a workshop where you live, please reply to this email and let me know where!