Joseph Campbell, the originator of the meme“follow your bliss,” was clear: bliss isn’t always easy. Bliss skins your knees and tests your mettle. It’s our bliss because we care enough to keep going when it becomes challenging.

Which comes first? The passion and bliss, or the practiced skill sharpened on challenge and obstacle?

It reminds me of the chicken and the egg conundrum. It’s hard to be definitive which comes first.

There’s a reciprocal relationship between passion and skill. How and where they are applied via our beliefs, values and ethics, determines our impact.

Unexpected themes and patterns emerged as I wrote chunks of my memoir. I’m not talking about my self-generated patterns and themes. Of course they are there, painfully – and sometimes hilariously – present.

I’m referring to the moment it became clear that every system I’ve ever engaged with has – or has threatened to – chew me up and spit me out.

Here’s a partial list, in close-to-chronological order:

Education
Union
Mental health
Corporate
Franchising
Self help
Mainstream media
Content creation

This list of systems I’ve tangled with personally doesn’t include the ones that affect us all: political, public health, or how they are all currently at affect of the systems of race, sexuality and gender.

Filtered through a lens of personal responsibility, it’s easy to ask what’s wrong with ME. To seek to change myself to fit in.

If the systems could want something – they can’t, they’re inanimate – that’s exactly what they would want me to do.

If there’s an up side to all this – and there always is – it’s how f*cking resilient I’ve become, and how thoroughly I’ve come to know myself. Since resilience and self awareness are superpowers these days, so I’m appreciating these acquired skills with gratitude.

I just finished writing to this to a friend:

“When you find and do what’s right for you, that’s the greatest gift for everyone involved.”

Often that means unhooking from one or more systems.

I can’t help but think unhooking has everything to do with being able to see, coexist with – and potentially change – “the system.”

Essential is not synonymous with valuable or your ability to make a difference.

It might look different on the outside for now, and require some adaptation, but the value you bring comes from within.

You and your work are essential to someone.

(Just in case you needed a reminder.)

I didn’t know how to begin again.  The mountain became insurmountable.

Somewhere in the early days of summer I gave myself permission to take a break from this Daily Letter while I wrote a memoir.

At first being quiet online was restful and allowed greater focus. The break extended into a hiatus. And then came a tipping point, when resuming became an increasingly difficult mountain to climb.

I didn’t know how to begin again.  The mountain became insurmountable.

I laugh at myself, wondering if while I’ve been hung up on how to resume, if anyone noticed I had stopped? The question isn’t personal, nor is the answer. It’s the measure of whether what came before mattered.

While writing my memoir, my inner guidance has been kicking up, nudging me to share work everywhere that is more personal. More expressive and creative. Less formulaic. Insisting I let go of “the made-up rules.”

So here we are, on a day that has always felt like the real new year.  A day, that if I let it slip by without posting, will exponentially increase the size of this mountain.

The work is to trust the process and share what’s on my mind, in my heart, and being seen by my eyes. To take one step at a time and make the mountain surmountable.

I wonder if you’re feeling that way about moving forward too.

Until tomorrow,

📷 Today’s accompanying image is from Joffre Lakes, northeast of Pemberton, BC, a mountain hike the guidebook said was “moderate.” That was before I understood that moderate means something different in British Columbia. So yes, it was messy! With plenty of sweat and f-bombs along the way. And 100% worth the effort.