Laura Tucker

Photographer, Writer, Podcast Host

Free Your Inner Guru™ Connection Channel

Human beings are hard-wired for Connection.

You have the power to create a sense of belonging for yourself and others when you share your story with compassion, kindness and love.

Tune into your Connection channel to experience the sense of contribution and meaning that comes with empowering relationships with others in your immediate circles, community and society.

Posts and podcasts in the Free Your Inner Guru Connection Channel are filled with stories and wisdom about the power of using your voice with the intention to affect change in the world around you.

The Power of Community – How You Can Make a Difference

By Leave a Comment

 

This is a story about the power of community and how each one of us can make a difference.

Before I begin, you need to know that I have a lot of cousins 🙂

The Power of Community

A couple of months ago, two of my cousins and I started sending each other messages online.   Another one of our cousins, Mary, was in a dire situation.  We wanted to do something and had felt helpless about her situation for a number of years.

Now, back when Mary became severely disabled due to a hospital fall while pregnant, there was nothing like GoFundMe to help with the situation.  After the Toronto Star published an article about her late last year we found our emotions reignited.  We started thinking and asking, “Has anyone ever thought to do a GoFundMe campaign to help?”

One thing led to the next. There were conversations, Facebook messages, and in three different parts of our extended family this subject kept coming up.

When the three instigators got together over the internet, we were uncertain about the level of impact we could have.   But we thought, “You know what?  It has not been tried before.  Let’s see what we can do.”

Six of the most powerful words: Let's see what we can do. Click to Tweet

We put together a plan of action, and we decided on the timing.  We chose last weekend, which happened to be our cousin’s birthday.  In Ontario where we live, it was also Family Day.

We must have struck a powerful chord in our community, because the results were nothing short of miraculous. I’m here today to share a message of hope with you.

We can be prone to believing we can’t have an impact in the world, or in another person’s life.  I’m here to tell you that belief is absolutely false. Yes, there are things that are beyond the scope of our control.   It’s astonishing how much of our energy can be consumed by the belief that our thoughts and actions do not matter.

You can’t go down that dark spiral, feeling like there’s nothing you can do to have an impact in the world, when in fact, the opposite is true.

You can make a difference

This experience has been an amazing reminder that every little bit of action, when it comes from a place of love and kindness, makes a difference.  Over the course of the last several months, we’ve seen people mobilize and start to develop a voice in social consciousness.  That is important for our broader community, but you can’t get caught up thinking about global affairs all the time.

Focus on what is right around you.  Where can you do good?  Because, every single day there’s somebody that needs to know that people haven’t forgotten about them.  That they are remembered.  That you love and cherish them, even though you can’t be there with them physically all of the time.

Positive side effects

There has been one key positive side effect of this project of ours.  People who felt like they were alone in their struggle – like they had been marginalized – have been reminded that they are loved.   They have been shown there is a large community of people who will rally to their aid when it is needed.

Look around in your life.  Look around as you’re walking down the street.  Look around and be present to your own circumstances, your own need.   Shift your consciousness so that it is also focused outward.  Don’t get caught focusing only on yourself and what is wrong with the world.  That mindset blinds you to opportunities to be a force for change.  If you feel like your $5, or your helping hand isn’t good enough, I’m here to tell you that is a false belief.  I’ve just witnessed it first hand, and I’ve seen the impact of every single action that people took to rally around to support us, and to support our cousin Mary in her time of need.

Your thoughts, words, and actions matter. It's all cumulative and it all counts. Click to Tweet

My wish for you, is this: as you go out and about your business and your life, remember that you matter.  Your words matter.  Your thoughts matter.  What you write and put out there matters.  It’s all cumulative and it all counts.

When you pay attention, every once in a while an opportunity will present where you can have a bigger impact.  You can mobilize a community.

As someone who’s always actively creating, know that with every thought, with every feeling, and with every action –  you are responsible for what you’re putting out there.  Pay attention! You have means to make a difference.

 If you’re looking for a community of like-minded individuals who care about their business, and their life, and about social issues, and spirituality, and being a force for good in the world, I want to invite you into our Facebook group. I’m the moderator, but there is hundreds of incredible people in their contributing every day, and it’s called Live the Big Picture Community. Because, that’s what we’re doing. We’re living the big picture.

6 Ways You Can Bridge the Gap Between Your Action and Results

By 4 Comments

 

Are you feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and stuck in a gap between your perceived big effort and the size or speed of your results?

We live in a world where instant gratification is glorified.  And it often appears that other people achieve their results with a lot less effort than you.  If you are feeling this way, here are six things you can do to alleviate your discomfort and keep moving forward.

6 Ways You Can Bridge the Gap Between Action and Results:

1.  Identify the Recurring Actions That Will Lead To Your Desired Result.

Any desired result in life or business can be broken down into recurring actions that, when performed with skill, will cause it to happen.  Your recurring actions must happen over and over again for you to move forward.

Recurring actions are NOT:

  • Projects
  • Your To Do List
  • Distractions of the day, aka shiny objects

Recurring actions must be at the foundation of your strategic plan.  Stop keeping yourself busy with shiny objects and focus on your recurring actions.  Your future self will thank you.

2.  Be Consistent Over Time.

Results don’t happen by thinking about your recurring actions, or performing them once or twice.  The right things need to be repeated over and over again, long enough to create your desired results.

It’s our nature to overestimate what we can do in one year, and underestimate what we can do in five years.  The true challenge lies in being able to hold your vision of where you are going together with your thoughts, feelings and actions while you are in the gap.

If you descend into the darker side of the gap – frustration, bitterness or overwhelm – how you do things is affected.  Stay in that vibe for a prolonged period of time, you’ll add chronic stress, which makes you even more vulnerable to your challenges, on every tangible and intangible level.

You may have heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it.”  The how is the reason that two people can have the same game plan, the same recurring activities, the same projects, and yield entirely different results.  You’ve got to be honest with yourself about how you are feeling. When your how is off, it’s time to dig deep, go inside, and grow.

“It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it.” Click to Tweet

3.  Recognize When You are Relying on Will Power.

Do you ever feel like you are powering through quicksand with everything you do?You might be surprised to find out that you are not alone.

Most people DO NOT have consistent access to will power and end up feeling like they are forcing things all the time. When you are in growth mode, you rely heavily on your conscious mind, especially for new tasks.  Consciously trying to do things draws on a very limited amount of personal energy.

Our modern culture seems to want you to power through everything.   If you can “Just do it”, you’re a modern day hero or heroine.  Of course, you need to take action, but you shouldn’t have to be resilient all the time.  Resilience is an admirable character trait, but nobody can sustain having to be resilient as a permanent state.

Life is not meant to be an endurance contest.  Having to will your way through everything is not sustainable, which is why #4 is so important…

Life is not meant to be an endurance contest. Click to Tweet

4.  Create Winning Environments

When it comes to your environments, there is a 2-way exchange of energy.

  1. You become a reflection of your environment, and
  2. Your environment becomes a reflection of you.

Jim Rohn’s quote

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with

is a perfect example of your environment at work.  The implication that you become a reflection of your relationships is clear – surround yourself with negative people, and you become negative.  Surround yourself with positive people, and you become positive.  At the same time, they are becoming a reflection of YOU.

There is a constant pushing and pulling between you and your environments, whether you are aware of it or not.  The winning approach is to consciously design your each of your personal environments so that they pull you forward.

Consciously design your each of your personal environments so that they pull you forward. Click to Tweet

Here’s a few examples of things you can do in your Mind, Body and Relationship Environments:

Mind
  • Start a meditation practice.  If you’re unsure how to meditate, I recommend www.headspace.com for meditators of all levels.  I love the guided meditations and I also love that they are curated in “packs” like Stress, Anxiety, Depression and on the lighter side Creativity, Focus and Patience.
  • Make room for creativity.  It undoes the effects of stress on your brain.  There is no accident as to why adult coloring bookshave caught on the way they have.  If you think that coloring is not as creative as your creative pursuit that you don’t make time for, give it a try.  You’ll be basking in a world of color combining and near meditation before you know it.
Body
  • Exercise.  Move it.  This is the only environment where powering yourself out your front door on a regular basis is good for you.  Do it often enough and you won’t be wondering where all of your energy went.  Just do it.
Relationships
  • The relationship environment is a powerful environment at the best of times and a tricky environment at the worst of times.  When you are stuck in the gap between effort and results, it’s important that you do not isolate!  Be in touch with positive, like-minded people who support your efforts and want to see you succeed.  Your real tribe will always welcome you, struggling, or not.  Remember – “The average of the five people who you spend the most time with.”    If those five people are Frustrated You, Anxious You, Overwhelmed You, Bitter You, and Angry You, the journey isn’t likely to get easier any time soon.

5.  Get Help From Someone Who Has Gone Before You.

If you try to reinvent the wheel,  your time in the gap between action and results will be prolonged.  And miserable.

The problem is that if you’re reading this blog, you’re probably fiercely independent (just like me), and don’t like to ask for help (just like I used to be).  Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness!  Investing in help is a sign of faith in yourself and your future.  There will always be people who appear to go it alone and create tremendous results.  If you ask them, they will tell you of a coach, trainer or mentor who helped them become more than their wildest dreams.

On page 5 my free eBook 7 Core Strategies to Move Forward After a Significant Crisis, I included a section called Assembling Your Professional Support Team with a list of helping professionals and the following 5 tips for finding the best fit for you:

  1. Ask for referrals from people with similar experience and who share your values.
  2. Do research online, but don’t believe everything you read or see online.
  3. Pay attention to how you feel while you are working with, or being treated by your support team.
  4. Don’t restrict yourself to geography.  Many services, like coaching, are now offered over the internet.
  5. You may have to try more than one of each type of practitioner.
  6. Always remember the ultimate responsibility for your results lies with you.

6.  Find and Express Gratitude For What Is.

There is something different and attractive about people who can maintain an attitude of gratitude, even in the most challenging circumstances.  How you respond when you are being challenged by your desire for more is important.

Remember to be grateful for the good in your life.  Comparison and judgment leach the energy out of your consciousness because they are  the opposite of gratitude.   If you find yourself ruminating on the cud of lack, try to remember this:

You’ll have everything you want when you love what you already have.

Your time in the gap between action and results is your time to build character and be resourceful.  It is also the time for you to master new skills, connect with new people, and explore how you respond when you are challenged.   When you dared to dream and want more out of life, knowingly or not, you signed up for a personal growth journey.  Welcome aboard!  There’s plenty of room for all of us.

 

How Empowering are Your Patterns?

By Leave a Comment

 

How empowering are your patterns?

Your patterns are powerful.  They permeate every aspect of your life.  For better or worse, your consistent patterns of thought, feeling and behavior accumulate and become your results.

Success and failure leave clues about your patterns.  If you’ve ever found yourself with your head in your hands asking “how did I get here…again?”  That’s a pattern.  If you’ve ever knowingly repeated steps in a process to get to your goal, that is also a pattern.

Your patterns determine
  • how you feel on a daily basis
  • how you respond to stressful situations
  • how you interact with people
  • how you show up in business
  • the outcome of your relationships
  • the level of energy you have for projects, activities and people

On the path of personal growth, becoming aware of your patterns is an important part of conscious living.  When you bring your patterns into the light for examination, more powerful choices can be made.

It’s important to know that patterns do what patterns do.  They repeat.  Your patterns are repeating whether you are conscious of them, or not.  The most reliable tool to detect your patterns is to pay attention to how you feel.

It's important to know that patterns do what patterns do. They repeat. Click to Tweet

Common Destructive Patterns

  • desire for instant gratification
  • wilful ignorance, stick your head in the sand
  • control
  • fight or flight reactions
  • procrastination
  • chaos, or “too busy-itis”
  • (believe it or not) fear of success

Desirable Patterns

  • being able to respond vs throwing a reacting
  • actions aligned with your values and goals
  • consistent self care
  • following through on promises to yourself and others
  • steady, focused action
  • having established and well enforced boundaries
  • mindful connection to your inner voice, or intuition
The most reliable tool to detect your patterns is to pay attention to how you feel. Click to Tweet

The benefit of being aware of your patterns is clear when it comes to destructive patterns and their results.  Shifting destructive patterns shifts destructive results.  Exploring positive patterns is a much lighter and equally beneficial pursuit.  Once a positive pattern is made conscious, it can be replicated for sustainable, predictable results.

5 Steps to Shift or Replicate a Pattern in Your Life

Many people respond to a negative pattern by trying to control everything and everyone to avoid a similar outcome in the future.  If you try to anticipate all the angles and outcomes, it’s an exhausting and futile pursuit.  Instead of control, you can have a significant influence by following these steps:

Step One:  Become Aware of the Pattern

At the risk of becoming redundant, you’ve got to get to know your patterns.  Patterns leave clues and they are found in your results and your feelings.

Step Two:  Recognize Your Pattern is Operating in Multiple Environments

Be on the lookout for patterns that occur across the different environments in your life.  A great example is the instant gratification pattern.  Scan your business, your relationships, your self care, your finances.  Patterns have a way of replicating themselves; especially when they remain outside of your awareness.

Step Three:  Go Inside Your Self

Become aware of what is or isn’t fulfilling for you.  Become aware of what is or isn’t working for you, regardless of what anyone else might think or try to impose on you.  Your feelings are your detection tool.    Your intuition is your radar.  It can takes a lot of work to become clear on what your feelings and intuition are trying to tell you.  That’s why the next step is paramount…

Step Four:  Have an Ally You Can Trust

Your ally shows up for you every single time because they are on your team.  Unlike most people, your ally is not attached to whether you agree or disagree with their insights.  When you call upon your ally, they do not put their needs or distractions first.  They are present.  They listen.  They watch for your patterns and help you become aware of them.

True allies are not be easy to find.  There is no such thing as an automatic ally, regardless of the nature of your relationship.  An ally earns the right to hear your vulnerable stuff by showing up for you consistently over time.   Allies come in many forms:  friends, therapists, coaches, and if you’re fortunate, family members and life partners.  Cultivate yourself a network of allies, and make sure you know how to show up as an ally, too.

Step Five:  Shift or Replicate the Pattern

Isn’t it liberating to know that you can consciously shift a pattern that isn’t working and bringing you fulfillment?  Isn’t it exciting to know that you can replicate an empowering pattern, and you can do it across your personal environments?  Easy, peasy….right?

Your #results don't lie. You are either running your patterns, or they are running you. Click to Tweet

Well, not exactly.  This is where you have to back up your “abera cadabera” with the no less magical consistency, discipline and time.  And this is where the wheels fall off most peoples’ wagons.  But you’re not most people if you’re still reading.  Shifting and leveraging patterns is some of the most rewarding inner work you will ever do.  Your results don’t lie.  You are either running your patterns, or they are running you.  If you desire change or growth, the only way out is in.

The Un-Selfie: How to take flattering photos of your loved ones this holiday season

By Leave a Comment

Laura Tucker selfie

 

Selfies are Everywhere!

It is time to un-selfie the holiday season.  I went to a Christmas party on the weekend and if I heard the word “selfie” once, I heard it fifty times.  This fascination with “taking pictures of oneself” can easily be linked to various unflattering character traits (hello, Narcissus!), but the photographer in me is starting to wonder if it’s about something else.  Is it possible that selfies are about wanting to have control over how we are portrayed in pictures?  Duck-face or not, are legions of people finding it safer to take a picture of themselves rather than trusting the eye and photographic skills of another?  Do we think that we can do a better job than our friends and family members?  Have we become our own PR managers?

Several years ago I attended a workshop on taking portraits given by a passionate photographer.  I learned some useful tips and lighting skills that I use to this day, but one thing he said is emblazoned in my memory.  “As a photographer, it is not your job, it is your mandate, to help people enjoy having pictures taken of themselves. You are paid to take flattering pictures.   Under no circumstance are you to show someone an unflattering picture of themself and give them another reason to run from the camera.”  I don’t care what anyone says, the most flattering portrait is not taken from arm’s length or in front of a mirror.

Un-Selfie the Holidays

Now is the time of year that many of us get together with friends and loved ones to celebrate the holidays and bring in the New Year.  We record these events for posterity by taking pictures.  Here are some tips to encourage selfographers to  swing the camera around and celebrate the season by taking fabulous, flattering pictures of other people, and maybe even hand the camera over to let them photograph you.

How to Flatter Others in a Photograph

It is often said that the camera adds 10 pounds.  I think many of us know that feeling when we look at pictures of ourselves.  It’s not actually the camera, it’s a combination of elements in the relationship between the camera and a human face.  Without getting too technical, here are some ways to improve your people pictures.

Here are 5 tips to Un-Selfie the Holidays and take great pictures of your loved ones.

Click To Tweet

1.  Raise the Camera

The most flattering portraits are taken from eye-level or slightly higher.   If you, the photographer, are shorter than your subject, you need to do one of two things.  Either have them sit down or you stand on something other than your tippy-toes to keep yourself stable.   Most women are best photographed from slightly higher than eye level.

2.  Step Back and Zoom In

Puppies, kittens and babies are cuter than their grown up selves.  Why?  Their faces are slightly compressed or “smooshed”.  Professional photographers do not use the same lens to shoot a sweeping landscape as they do to photograph people.  They use a portrait lens to take flattering portraits.  Your smartphone or camera is the opposite of a portrait lens.  Why is this?  Your camera likely defaults to a slightly wide focal length or wide angle so you can sit at the table and see most of the room in your shot.  You can imitate a portrait lens by stepping back and zooming in. The contours of the human face combined with our usual view of ourselves leaning forward into a mirror does not prepare us for how we look when photographed by a wide angle lens.  Save the wide angle for the mountains and beaches.  Get up off your duff, step back and zoom in slightly to compress everyone nicely into their two dimensional best.

3.  Learn how to control the automatic flash

Unfortunately, there is not a lot of daylight to work with at this time of year.  Many of our pictures are taken indoors as a result.  Window light is beautiful and you should use it whenever possible.  Most of the time you will need to use your flash.  If you know how to adjust the ISO on your camera, you might be able to get around it. Flash is unflattering, but blurry pictures are no better than out of focus pictures.

If you are outdoors on a sunny day, override the automatic flash and turn it ON.  This will create fill light to light up the eyes of your subject instead of leaving them to look like dark sockets.

4.  3-2-1 Open! For blinkers and large groups

I used this strategy when I used to photograph weddings.  The pressure was on to capture groups of people looking their best, smiling and all with their eyes open at the same time.  Inevitably there was at least one person who was a blinker.  Whether it was due to nervousness or the brightness of the sun, have you ever asked a blinker to stop blinking?  Trust me, it doesn’t work!  If it was the bride or groom, it was enough to make me break out into a sweat.  I don’t remember if I was taught this one or came up with it myself, but it is physically impossible for a person to blink while they are opening their eyes.  So, I devised (or remembered) this little trick.  It went something like this:  “OK, everyone, get your smiles ready and close your eyes.  I’m going to count backwards from 3 and say “open”.  When you hear the word open, open your eyes and flash me your pearly whites.”  Usually everyone would feel pretty silly, but it made their smiles more natural and on “one, open!” I would fire away to tremendous results.

5.  Shoot Lots, Edit More and Show Less!

In the good old days, film was expensive and so was memory.  Now, film is all but extinct and high capacity memory cards for your camera are inexpensive.  In other words, you can afford to increase the odds of gorgeousness by taking lots of pictures.  That way you won’t end up with pictures with everyone’s eyes closed or mouth open.  By the way, when I write “edit”, I don’t mean in Photoshop.  A good photographer has tons of images that no one but them get to see.  If it doesn’t flatter, get rid of it.  Enough said.

If you follow these simple steps, you are bound to surprise yourself and flatter others.

Deck the halls with awesome photos!  Fa-la-la-la-la  la-la-la-la!

Laura

Lessons from an old dog

By 2 Comments

Today marks three months since my awesome dog Brandy died. The passage of time struck me this morning as I prepared a box of her things ready to go to our storage locker.  I had accumulated her toys and many accessories in this box and put it on a shelf in my office.  When I took it down from the shelf this morning and opened it, I was reminded of her absence in a way I hadn’t experienced before.  The box is full of our favourite things:  2 blue rubber frisbees, several orange hockey balls from Canadian tire (she chewed through tennis balls at the speed of light), a Chuck-it, and her water toy called “squirrel” that always incited a frenzy when brought into view.

I adopted Brandy from the SPCA when she was three and a half.  I still have the survey her original family filled out when they surrendered her in September 2003.  It is clear from their answers on the survey that her original owners didn’t have time for their dog.  Brandy, a mix between a border collie and number of  other working dog breeds, did not thrive left outside all day and evening.  She needed attention, interaction, something to do, or someone to follow around incessantly.  They did the right thing giving her up.  I am the beneficiary of what I expect was a difficult decision.

Brandy was my “single-girl dog”.  We lived without other human company for a long time.  Without her in my life to get me outside to the dog parks, I could go days without any social contact.  A former work-a-holic, integrating a half-crazy neglected dog into my life proved to be as challenging as it was eventually rewarding.  I hung in and made it past the first 18 months of battling for the role of “alpha”.  The best way to describe our relationship is that we developed an understanding and learned to live together very well.  Brandy was with me when I moved to Kelowna in 2005, and returned to Toronto with me and my family last summer.  She thoroughly enjoyed the wide open space of Toronto’s beach dog parks during her last months. It was a sharp contrast to what we had become accustomed to in Kelowna.

My last walk with Brandy at Kew Beach in Toronto was on Tuesday, February 3rd, 2015 at sunset.  I remembered speaking with a man who was at the icy water’s edge with his dog and a SLR camera.  After we spoke, I walked down the beach, headed west, enjoying my dog in her happy place.  The next morning, she was incapacitated for a final time with pancreatitis, a disease that had been diagnosed in September.  The day after she died, I couldn’t get the conversation at the waterfront out of my head, and I kept thinking the photographer must have taken some pictures of the sunset that would have included us in his composition.  I would have.  A persistent voice in my head kept saying, “I bet you could find him through Facebook.”  I sat down and wrote:

Post by Laura Tucker.

 

I composed carefully, not wanting to overdo it by becoming maudlin in my grief.  I didn’t know what to expect and had no idea the outpouring of help and support that was on the way.  When the Facebook group “The Beaches” got a hold of my post, our story went semi-viral.  By Monday, the post had been shared over 500 times, the photographer and a beautiful picture found.  I rejoiced at having a final, beautiful memento of me and “my girl”, photographed by Ryan Phillips.  That would have been enough, but the next day, Daniel Otis, a reporter from the Toronto Star contacted me, wanting to write a feel-good story that ended up on the front page.  Between the article and Facebook, I heard from hundreds of people all over the world; many of them I knew, and some are new connections.  Whenever I miss my girl, I think about the outpouring of support and the interest of strangers who saw the possibility of a photo and were interested enough to help me find it.

Laura and Brandy Tucker last walk
This is a second photograph sent to me by Ryan Phillips. He found it while going through his files at the end of March. It arrived in an unexpected message the day before my birthday. I like it even better than the first picture!

 

As I reflect on over eleven years of being Brandy’s master and the events surrounding her death, I realize I am still learning from her.  On that note, here are some lessons from my old dog:

1.  Always have your ears up and be ready to play.

Unless you think you might be in trouble, then put your ears down and still be ready to play.

Lesson from an Old Dog #1:  Always have your ears up and be ready to play.

Click To Tweet

2.  Be receptive and greet everyone in your path.

Brandy had three greetings.  No human or dog was exempt.

  1. The tentative stranger greeting, requesting eye contact and an invitation to interact.
  2. The exuberant friends and family greeting for everyone in her tribe.
  3. The explosive “you are the centre of my universe” greeting, reserved only for me.

The world would be a better place if we all greeted each other the way Brandy did.

Lesson from an Old Dog #2:  Be receptive and greet everyone in your path.

Click To Tweet

 3.  You earn your dog’s Loyalty with your Commitment.

It would have been easy to give up on my untrained, prey-driven mutt.  There were times that I considered it because of my growing business and extensive travel.  Fortunately, Brandy had a second “mom”, Heidi of Heidi’s Doggy Day Care in Summerland, BC.  Without her help and level of care, I don’t know how Brandy and I would have survived.  Being a dog owner also means commitment on a daily basis, from the humbling picking up of steaming excrement to walks in sub-zero temperatures for months on end.

Lesson from an Old Dog #3: You earn your dog’s Loyalty with your Commitment.

Click To Tweet

4.  Enjoy each walk as if it were your last.

As cold as it was this past February in Toronto, Brandy and I had a blast on our last walk.  We ran together and played together; partly to keep warm, but mostly because we enjoyed each other.  There was no indication on that walk of what was coming the next day.  If she would play at her age, who was I to deny her?

Lesson from an Old Dog #4:  Enjoy each walk as if it were your last.

Click To Tweet


5.  Never underestimate the power of asking or the kindness of strangers.

I have to admit that I hesitated before writing that Facebook post, because I doubted anything would come of it. When the idea persisted, I realized there was nothing to lose.  Since all this happened, I have stepped up my conscious effort to heed my inner voice and respond when I can to similar requests.  You never know when you might play a role in reducing the six degrees of separation between the asking and the answer.

Lesson from an Old Dog #5:  Never underestimate the power of asking or the kindness of strangers.

Click To Tweet

6.  Ultimate Responsibility

It is widely understood that dogs are a lot of work.  They don’t outgrow their toddler-like state and depend on us to feed them, walk them, and be their companions.  If you’re reading this and are getting romantic about the idea of getting a dog, please think twice!  As great as Brandy was, an entire family couldn’t find the time to care for her properly.  A dog is a long-term commitment and someone has to be OK with picking up the shit.  That part of the responsibility is well known. 

The responsibility that we don’t want to think about is that we are going to love this animal and in all likelihood have to make the decision to end their life.  Brandy was my dog, which meant the final decision was mine alone.  And it was much harder than I imagined.  There came a point when sustaining her life was more about what I wanted than what was best for her.  Fortunately, when she was diagnosed with pancreatitis, I had a number of conversations with her vet, Dr Nigel Skinner.  Our conversations helped me gain clarity at a difficult time and know when the time was right to let her go.  It didn’t make it easier, but it helped me know that I was doing the right thing.  It was uncanny that the day Brandy died, the Supreme Court of Canada legalized physician-assisted suicide, otherwise known as euthanasia for humans.

Lesson from an Old Dog #6:  Ultimate Responsibility

Click To Tweet

This summer, you might see me plodding along at the beach as I renew my commitment to long-distance running.  It had fallen by the wayside as my priorities shifted to accommodate the needs of my old dog.  It still feels strange running alone, but I have my ears up and am open to playing with you and your dog if we cross paths and happen to make eye contact.

 

More Content